Unlike most would think, bonding with your unborn baby is not something that happens miraculously. Some mommies instantly feel a bond, whilst others take longer to grow a connection. Whether you want to or not however, baby can feel when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are stressed and when you are at ease.
Taking time out during your pregnancy to sit down and focus conscious attention on what is going on with, and within, your own body is essential to build and strengthen this bond. Especially during the first couple of months when the changes to your body happen slowly and you might not recognize the ‘baby changes.’
Keep pictures from your sonars close by, looking at them often, to make it a reality that you are growing a baby. Many mommies cannot connect because they find it difficult to imagine what baby looks like, and not having a mental image to connect to, stumps them. Notice how your baby grows, and how it develops little hands and feet, every sonar should be kept and treasured to help you create a picture what is inside you.
Movements in your belly is baby’s way of talking to you- take note of this and talk back, spending time to make baby aware of your voice. You can also play with your baby, rubbing, nudging and poking back at baby and see how they react. You might even find they really like it sometimes, as it will feel like a baby massage!
Studies have shown that creating a ‘soothing ritual’ during pregnancy can contribute to calming down the baby once he or she has come in to this world. For example, if belly-baby is unsettled, and mommy rubs her belly on the side of where the baby’s head is while humming a soothing tune and this settles belly-baby, then the same action, of rubbing baby’s head while humming the same soothing tune, should contribute to comforting baby once baby has been born. This can create a strong bond between mommy and baby as mommy will know how to soothe baby and baby will learn that mommy equals comfort.
Aside from this, you can also spend some time journaling about your pregnancy and about the baby. Putting your emotions and feelings into words, will aid in making this all very real, and can help you pin point why you are feeling disconnected. It is also helpful to write stories or letters to your baby as if baby was already here.
Next we will look at how Daddy can bond with baby!
Written By: Simoné Van Der Merwe
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